I just watched my 2nd ever, episode of the
simpsons...I only merit this
as a large event due to the fact that the 1st ever
watched before this
was last week. I guess that's a big deal. I'm not a
big t.v. person,
used to be...when we had cable, but then I only
watched shows like Even
Stevens and *gasps* Lizzie McGuire, and never did I
miss the disney
channel movie of the month. I will continue to keep
counted track of the
simpson's episodes I watch, until it becomes a
habit, which is not very
likely to happen.

I don't think I would watch t.v. even if we had
options too. So there.
Do I sound stuck up? Well I would remember if I were
you, that Johanna
has other things that distract her causing vacant
eyes and slack jaw.
Like xanga, and xanga, and chocolate.

Only dark chocolate though. I also decided not to
feel guilty for liking
xanga so much anymore. You see...if I feel guilty it
will only conflict
with the love. Seeing how this is a lesson that
applies to many areas
(not just one) in my life, I should adopt it like a
sister ( I already
have two brothers). Seriously, as long as I stop
caring about what all
my friends think about me...and wondering if they
still love me even
when they don't comment...it's a good thing.
Sometimes you just gotta
unload. These things I talk about on here never have
the energy to test
themselves out verbally anyways. I have to let the
other me run free
from time to time you know. bleh.

My mom just sent me a very amusing link (yeah we
instant message through
the great distances of my room to the kitchen)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/burrito_lockdown. This
was the first thing
after the other first thing that made me laugh
today...which was some
absurd line delivered in the simpsons. That's kind
of sad if you think
about it. I laugh a lot. So to not laugh seems
pretty crazy. And this is
all a bunch of nonsense, but I can't stop.

I'm going to protect this post, so only my
subscribers may read it. Not
that any of you are more special than others of you,
I just may slip and
say something in this post that I want to hide from
the immediate
public.
Like...I may for instance talk about how I have
really intense pms, and
that's just not right.
Drew and I were just talking about this sort of
thing last week. We were
sitting at the dinner table in a church camp, and
the table next to us
was filled with a bunch of guy band members who's
coversation consisted
of boisterous laughter and repeated lines from the
movie Anchor Man
(which I've never seen) Drew perked up a little bit,
and then said with
a smile "ha - they're talking about Anchor Man." I
asked him if he
wished he were talking about Anchor Man too...and he
said no because he
didn't like talking about those types of things with
people he wasn't
familiar with. I think he may not have meant it this
way entirely, but I
think it makes sense. I always prefer to get the
harder conversation out
of the way in my relationships, before moving on to
more superficial
topics. That may be backwards, but I can't handle
talking about
something someone may respond to smilingly on the
surface, while maybe
struggling to understand more about where I'm coming
from. Then again
maybe no one has that kind of confliction, well I
do...but you know. I
think that's where we can sometimes get caught in
the rebound, the
superficial is a nice distraction from terrifying
contemplation of how
the depth of the ocean really exists. So no I won't
talk about my pms,
unless you really want me too...unless you really
think it will help you
understand me as your friend. Then you can ask me
too, but I won't bring
it up. I will try to be more tangible at times...and
bring the details
to the table. I think my issue with that is that I
think none of the
details are not that interesting they are too easily
conquered in
words...I wait for the ginormous events, so that I
can reel in my own
awkwardly conveyed explaination, not quite ever
nailing the emotion
lived, on the head.

In effort to change the subject while really
expressing interest in
giving out the details I so often dismiss....I segue
into my next
paragraph.

Next week my friend Nicole is coming to visit on her
way back home from
school in Mississippi. This is very happy indeed,
and one of the many
reasons I decided to cut my time on the road with
Drew and Kat down a
little...after this I fly to Ohio, where I will ride
with friends to
Florida...this is the third year in a row they
invited me on their
family vacation, and the first time that I've
accepted. It will be good,
but I'm a little sad about the fact that it will be
my first time not
being home for Mother's Day. I guess it's all part
of growing up...and
we are celebrating her all together this Sunday...so
that's good...but I
can't help after all of my complaints on how slow my
life has been of
late, to feel guilty when the opportunity presents
itself to fly.

Way to complicate Johanna.