I wish I weren't such a wimp when it comes to facing my dreams as reality. It seems when faced with even the slightest possibility of this being so...I stick my head under the pillow and come up with a million reasons I was wrong for even thinking I was capable. This most obviously is not the correct attitude to find foundation in.
For being as seasoned as I am at saying not "farewell", but "see you later"...I sure did cry a lot this week over it. First Elena, then tonight Robin stuck herself in an envelope addressed for some college in Georgia.
The path has seperated, and I'm left alone with purpose. The opportunity for intemacy excites, and paralyzes. Good thing I still have my bible, and my family. Oh and a lot of other things...I have to stop thinking of everything as this huge play act, and live as it comes. Wouldn't it be nice not to expect and just do? Just live with purpose as a sort of playmate...someone you enjoy spending time with, instead of cramming it down your throat as a particularly despised discipline...one that burns and tortures all the way down.
The only reason I whine is because I've wrestled with contentment my whole life...now I sort-of-kind-of won the fight, and find myself wishing I hadn't. I've forgotten all those things about it being through "His strength" and not my own. Contentment just needs to be thought of freshly in my mind...it should be a state of being, that can handle however life rolls, and roll right along with it. Playing happily with purpose. Er..Something like that.
Have a safe trip dear little Robin...you will be missed. That's all I meant to say really. :) Thanks for being my encouragement of thought tonight