Well my medium sized duffle bag is packed...Rochacha
here she comes.
Due to my travels this will be my last entry for a
month, I'm going to
try really hard to make it so. Yesterday I was home
all day, and I think
I checked my email five times, and xanga something
like 20 times. I
think I did get a record of 6 comments....that's a
lot for this little
college town girl. Regardless, I need to break
myself of a habit...if
it's a habit, I can't enjoy it, because then
conviction comes. Maybe I
just need to make more friends...I don't know, it's
hard because my
friends are scattered here and there, making it hard
to communicate
without assistance from electronical device. I think
of that song by
Riley, "crumbs of man"...I feel like I'm letting
motivation waste
away...to completely steal his idea there...but when
it's already been
said, and said perfectly, why not? I feel isolated,
I think that's
because I have so much invested into my own self
right now, when I'm
around people I am frustrated, because I want to get
past myself...get
past the insecurity, and love. When I try to express
this in words, I
end up talking for a half hour, leaving no room for
the other person to
talk about their week, or life...I think I've only
loved myself here. I
don't know...some things are meant to be felt and
shown without words I
guess.
I think this is all to vague for you to get a true
idea, but my fingers
are rolling.
You want to know what I'm looking forward to the
most? As silly as it
may sound...my layover in Cincy, I'll be there for
an hour or so, by
myself. I'm totally taking advantage of this, to
sort thoughts in prayer
and writing that only I will see. I'm thinking part
of my problem is
that I'm considering too many things on the same
level of thought
processing..."why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on
what does not satisfy?" Isaiah 55:2a
The context of this chapter in it's entirety holds a
lot of truth for my
situation I know...I am pulling it apart, but what I
gather from it now,
is that I'm wasting my resources and stressing
myself out. umm...I think
I'll stop here.

Mom and I are running errands in a bit...I'm
dropping she and Isaiah at
Hobby Lobby and am making a dash for the wooden shoe
factory. I have
this medium sized shoe that I found at a thrift
store...I'm getting a
friend's name burned into it. I can't say more....I
don't think they
read this, but just in case. I have to keep the
information limited. :)
It will be fun though...a lot more fun than buying a
toothbrush. I had
to make a specific trip to buy a toothbrush the
other day...I've never
had to think about buying a toothbrush before...my
mom just always used
to pick those up when they were on sale, but I'm
becoming more
independant by the day, and these things are now my
responsibility. :) I
don't mind one bit, but it just was strange to
me...in the end I spent
three friggin' dollars on a crazily striped bristled
stick, with
polishers (little rubber inserts, hidden between
soft bristles, yeah.)

Happy Christmas to you all! I'm sure I'll be seeing
most of you, but if
not...enjoy yourselves.