So again...I'm up late. 12:06 am this time. I feel
the need to pray or
journal...I'm going for the journaling thing as you
can see here. :)
Living life and being eighteen is tons different
then I ever thought it
would be when I was younger. Maybe I idolized it a
bit...life that is.
I remember thinking when I was little about how
great it would be to be
sixteen. Every year on my birthday since I turned
seven I would
announce to my mom that I was only six years (or how
ever many there
were at the time) until I was a teenager. How
excited I was to look
forward to something I was completely unprepared
for. When I was seven
I thought that by the time I was sixteen I'd be all
hott and
stuff...driving my car, dating my guy...I was always
wearing a prom
dress in my daydreams. Those were the years I was
waiting for, those
were the days I dreamed about...now I'm past the
prime in my seven year
old opinion...I've never worn a prom dress, I drive
my parents mini van
(I'm not complaining I like the espresso machine :),
and am not to
excited about dating any of the guys I know (sorry)
they're my friends,
that's all I want them to be. So because I'm here (
in my prime ) I
start thinking about how incorrect my seven year old
logic is. What do
I start to do then you ask? I dream about being
twenty-five and how
especially hott I'll be then...this time I'm wearing
sleek designer
fashions, and walking around in England somewhere.
Can't wait till that
happens.

I'm not very good at this updating stuff I
guess...sorry about that. My
biggest apology goes out to Emily.

I had Capoeira class last night, I love it so
much...I've got a long way
to go in learning it seeing how I only started a
week ago today. It's
the first artform I've attempted and felt even in
the midst of my
stumbling mistakes, I really do have the movement in
my body. In dance
class all through out learning the technique I keep
myself going, but I
can't really picture the graceful movement on myself
when my pictures of
dancers are all tall and thin, crazy flexible girls.
I've always told
myself that this is a tainted way to percieve things
in...what happens
is that I try to change myself to line up with my
mental pictures of
what I should be to actually become a dancer...not
what I am. With
Capoeira I know I don't have all the movement, but
I'm content to make
it work on the way my body looks and feels
now...most of the time I hold
back though because of fear...which is bad. The
seeing myself do
something is a big step, and I'm excited to see how
God keeps using this
experience to "enlarge the place of my tent" so to
speak...I don't know
if that makes sense but at least there's something
new on my xanga!

Mom and I are gonna go thrifting today after we drop
my brother off at
work. I also am going to get my DBA...more to come
on that subject soon
though :)

Peace Out,

Johanna Elise

>
> Well it's 12:54 am...and I'm still awake, not
> vibrantly so. You know how
> it is. Just got back from one of my favorite places
> to go, a little
> coffee shop here in town. Picture a place about the
> size of your
> average living room (the walls are painted a
> glorious orange) with
> photography hanging and a few works by local
> artists, nothing grand in
> size...I love the coffee smell; though I've made the
> decision not to
> drink coffee.
>
> One - I don't like it black, which I hear is the
> best way to drink it if
> you're even going to. I only like it cold,
> solidified, and pumped full
> of chocolate fudgey-ness.
>
> Two - the last time I drank cofee was at 10:30 last
> saturday night...I
> couldn't force my eyelids to close until 4 am the
> next morning. Then
> the next day I had to keep flooding my body with
> caffine to operate (all
> solutions included sugar), I didn't want to miss
> anything that day,
> seeing how we had good friends from Ohio visiting.
>
> No more coffee...i did have tea tonight though.
> Maybe that's why I'm
> still not sleeping. Back to Saturday when I didn't
> sleep. I ended up
> writing in my notebook, without stopping to correct
> myself. I just
> unloaded...It was refreshing, I haven't done that in
> a long time...if
> ever like that, where the thoughts just flowed.
> Maybe I'll just post it
> on here tomorrow. I guess I'm revisiting it because
> it happened exactly
> a week ago. Since I'm doing almost the same thing
> as I did then, I was
> reminded.
>
> Okay well I'm ending here. G'night