I am quite certain that the best form of entertainment, comes while sitting on the couch watching wild winds shake spikey palm tops. Of course you have to turn all the lights off...It's my last day in Florida with the Holts and in Haly's words..."Wilma's a bitch." We're not in a bad area, but daylight is dark today, and the punk rocker trees are losing their hair. Clinic appointments have been cancelled for today...and well we're just sitting around. I can't express how much of a blessing being here has been. Getting here was a blessing, I knew something was up when dear friends gave me a ticket to fly here (I only have to pay the taxes)...being here has been restful, and challenging, I haven't had much schedule to run by...but the conversations have been more than beneficial. In talking to Haly, hanging out with beautiful Braedon boy, and watching Topher ask for carry out at a grocery store when he only had one bag...I've realized how beautiful pain is. I wish I could be more specific in why I realize this, but it's like all my thoughts are freshly picked produce, waiting to be washed and prepared for a meal. So I guess I'll settle for the vagueness, as I let the water run, and peel the potatoes. If there's one thing that I've learned from befriending the Holts it's that life is a process. I need to stop asking how to live, and think about why to live. Not in a suicidal way (I don't know if I made it sound like that's what I meant), a way that brings focus...and ultimately a future. Oh how I long for the day, when my self conscience and self containment will healthily vanish, and I can talk about things concerning others. To be all together frugal in self thought...and receive revelations on the life outside. God has me walking through the land psyche and crisis, so I can face the giants...Someone said once I think...that, love is never far from danger. A thought that is giving me a little pep in my step.